Discernment Counseling
When you’re unsure what comes next.
Make room for clarity.
One of you may be hoping to repair the relationship while the other is considering leaving. Discernment counseling offers a structured space to understand how you got here and decide what direction to take.
Request a Discernment ConsultationYou don’t have to arrive with the same answer.
When your hopes for the relationship are different, conversations about the future can feel painful or go in circles. We’ll make room for each partner’s perspective.
Different hopes
One partner wants to work on the relationship while the other is unsure or leaning toward leaving.
Uncertainty
You feel caught between staying as you are, separating, or making a focused effort to repair.
A thoughtful decision
You want to understand your relationship more clearly before choosing your next step.
Understand your relationship.
Consider your choices.
We’ll slow down the decision-making process and explore what each of you needs to understand before moving forward.
Hear each perspective
Explore what brings each of you here, what you’re hoping for, and what makes the decision difficult.
Understand how you got here
Reflect on the relationship’s history, recurring patterns, and each partner’s contributions to the difficulties.
Explore three directions
Consider continuing as things are, moving toward separation or divorce, or committing to six months of couples therapy, with a plan for personal change and divorce off the table during that time.
Clarify the next step
Work toward greater clarity and confidence about your direction and what it would ask of each of you.
What to expect
Before we meet
We’ll discuss your situation and whether discernment counseling fits. Both partners need to be willing to participate in the process, even if their hopes differ.
During your sessions
Your sessions include time together and individual conversation with each partner. The focus is understanding and decision-making.
As you move forward
We’ll review what you’re learning and discuss your direction. Further couples work, separation support, or other services can be considered as appropriate.
The goal is greater clarity about your next step. A particular relationship outcome is not guaranteed.
Space for a thoughtful next step
Your investment
$400 Initial two-hour discernment session
$300 for each additional 90-minute session.
Private pay. We’ll discuss the recommended number of sessions and any separately recommended services before booking.
Request a Discernment ConsultationA few questions before you begin
How is this different from couples counseling?
Couples counseling generally begins with a shared commitment to work on the relationship. Discernment counseling helps when that commitment is uncertain or different for each partner. Its immediate focus is choosing a direction.
Do we both have to want to stay together?
No. You can have different hopes for the relationship. Both partners do need to be willing to participate and reflect on the situation.
Will you tell us whether to stay or separate?
The decision belongs to you. I’ll help you explore your perspectives, understand your patterns, and consider what each direction would involve.
What if one of us has already made a final decision?
We’ll discuss that during your consultation. If a decision has already been made and there is no openness to exploring it, a different form of support may be more appropriate.
Can we include our Christian faith?
Yes. Your faith and values can be included when both partners want that. The process makes room for honest reflection without pressuring either partner toward a particular outcome.
How many sessions will we need?
Discernment counseling is typically one to five sessions, with a commitment to one session at a time. We’ll review together whether another session would be useful.
You don’t have to have the answer today.
Start with a conversation about where each of you stands and whether discernment counseling fits your next step.
Request a Discernment Consultation